Every choice we make is the right one and every choice is the wrong one. No matter what, we will choose something. The choices we make shape our lives, and influence the lives of others.
How often do you consciously think about the choices you make daily? Do you spend much time at each decision point before choosing? Do you even recognize when you are at a decision making point? Are you impulsive in the choices you make? Do you let others make choices for you? Do you make choices for others?
Every day we are faced with choices. Most of them are made without much effort. Do you put your pants on left leg or right leg first? You probably don’t stop to think about it. If you did you might still be working on it. Many, perhaps most, of our choices are made from habit. We learn very early the preferred pants leg to put on first. The choice isn’t monumental. It is just a choice, but we could be there all day if stopped to weigh the consequences of that choice.
There other choices we make that seem as innocent and harmless that we make much the same way. Should we eat breakfast? Should we go to school? Should we choose this career or that? With whom should we associate? Will we have a life mate?
Every choice we make does shape our lives. Thank goodness most of our choices are as inconsequential as getting dressed. When dressing we can usually make choices to meet society’s requirement to be dressed in public. We may not satisfy everyone’s taste in “proper” attire, but most of our bodies are covered. We should think more about choices that might have a negative affect on our bodies, minds and relationships. Surprisingly, some of the choices that seem the least important are anything but that. Sometimes there are external factors that greatly influence our choices.
There is no “wrong” choice, just choice. When some choices are made with little thought the results can be disastrous. Or, at least seem that way. As an example: Someone is being mugged. I intervene. The mugging is thwarted. That seems like a right choice. However, what if the mugger, the victim or I get seriously injured as a result. Is my choice to intervene right or wrong? We might be willing to say that the mugger got what he deserved if he is injured so the choice was right. The choice to come to that conclusion might be right, but that is the topic for another discussion. (Is the choice to make that last statement right or wrong?) The point is-we make choices.
Another example: In chapter twelve I discussed dysfunctional, abusive relationships. Both of those people have chosen to be in that relationship. Each has a reason for being there. At that time, each of them believes they are receiving what they want. Most of us would say that they are not really analyzing the situation clearly. They probably aren’t, but what is their payoff? They probably don’t take the time to make that kind of analysis at the beginning of the relationship. It isn’t until the abuse gets worse that they begin to question the choices they made that got them to that point.
What about the choice to have one more “small” drink before driving home? There are sufficient statistics to support the idea that the choice turned out badly. People get injured and killed daily because of the choice of the drinking driver. What about the choices of the victim? It is not my intent to minimize the pain and grief of the victims. I think it might be interesting to look at the choices they made that brought them to the scene of the accident. In chapter six I discuss the responsibility we all share in the outcome of events.
A way to put this in perspective might be that this is all part of a grander plan that we have had a hand in planning. We have decided to have coincidental events occur that will provide us lessons to learn. We must then choose to learn the lesson or not. At some time the lesson will be learned.
It would be easy for me to say we must stop being lazy about contemplating the choices we make. But that is just one choice. What is yours?
Jack’s Nugget: My life is the sum of my choices, so is yours.
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Sunday, January 01, 2006
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