I’m continually amazed at the things people are able to say and do when they interact with others. There are times when I believe I have stepped over the line with some of my comments to others. The comments sounded a bit caustic or sarcastic to me. However, the response of the other party seems one of acceptance and in some rare cases appreciation. My awareness makes me more vigilant about how I communicate with others.
It is not my intent to cause others discomfort, although I do recognize that growth can come from such discomfort. The more I think of this idea, the more I want to focus on what it is that allows me to “get away with” my comments. My query has brought me to this premise—“Share the love in your heart.”
“Share the love in your heart?” Now that is a charming concept. It rolls off the tongue so easily. However, it is easier to say than to do. We must first discover the love in our heart. It is that feeling of joy, excitement, affection and wellbeing that we perceive when the world is beautiful. That feeling that energizes us and brings with it serenity and peace. Which comes first, the joy or the beautiful world? That answer is easy, the beautiful world is all around us, even in the midst of horrendous evil. Our task is to discover that part of us that perceives the beauty and awakens the joy. The beautiful world is always there. We just have to be open to it and welcome it.
Welcoming the beautiful world begins by recognizing the feelings that come to us when least expected. Those feelings we have about the smallest things. Remember how you felt the first time it rained after a long dry spell? Heard the words to a beautiful song? Saw the beauty of the first snowfall? Felt the joy of successfully completing a difficult task? Saw a beloved person? Observed a curious child accomplish something for the first time? Noticed a beautiful sunrise/sunset? There are several feelings that may come to you--feelings of satisfaction, elation, energy, and even serenity. All of those feelings give you a sense of wellbeing. As you become aware of this state of wellbeing, you want to remain there. You want others to have the same feeling. You want to share those feelings with others. That wanting to share is a natural byproduct of the feeling. The marvelous thing about identifying these feelings is that we can experience them whenever we want. We are in complete control of the feelings. It only requires our willingness to be calm, sense them, and let them permeate our total being.
There are times when we must tell people things that they might not want to hear. We must do it in such a way that they are willing to accept it in the manner in which it was intended, i.e., we care enough about them to let them know how their behavior is affecting us. Those who are in pain from anger, fear, sadness, disappointment, or some other emotion, need someone who will listen. Sometimes that is all they want, a listener. No talk. No suggestions. No recommendations, just a willing ear.
The listening must be non-judgmental. It must be done with an attitude that says, “There is nothing you can say that will cause me to be repelled from you as a person of dignity and worth.” We may justifiably abhor the behavior of the other, but we should at least listen to their story. After listening we can then make suggestions as to a likely course of action. However, my guess is, they would rather not have the suggestions. When they do ask for suggestions, remember, they are just suggestions. The receiver is going to do whatever he or she pleases, regardless of the consequences. Teenagers seem to be quite adept at this.
Sharing the love in our hearts will make our lives more worthwhile. We will be more fulfilled as a person. Others will seek us out to spend time in our company. They will value us because we have shown we value them. We have cared enough to share our love of the beauty of the world with them. That is a powerful role model.
Jack’s Nugget: What you give is what you get. Share the love in your heart.
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