It doesn’t take a lot of intelligent thought to realize that it is a bad idea to see how much gasoline is in a container by holding a lit match to the opening. The results can be quite explosive. (The poor pun was intended.) There are times when we interact with others and the results can be just as explosive and damaging.
You may already have used this advice yourself. Do you recall a time when you thought it would be nice to have two of your friends get to know each other? Do you recall why you didn’t? It was probably because you knew them to be sparks and gasoline should they get together. Their individual friendships were more important than having them meet each other. Preventing the explosive occurrence is easier than trying to “douse the flames.”
Knowing that there are some folks who will not get along, it is advisable to keep them apart. To bring them together would be disastrous. When we are in situations where it is part of our job (e.g., sales, teaching, etc.) to bring people together it is a good idea to keep this in mind. When it is impossible to keep them apart we will have to figure out some way to prevent the inevitable “explosion.” An easy way out is to decline to be of service. That may not be the best course of action when our livelihood depends on it. In business, with friends and sometimes in families, we cannot avoid such situations. It is inevitable and necessary in some situations that we must continue. We may have to resort to “shuttle negotiations.” That is, we will carry messages from one to the other until there is a meeting of the minds.
Most of us realize that it is unwise to be a participant in such situations. It is possible to prevent or minimize such explosive occurrences. Each of us must be vigilant about our own feelings and become aware of when we are headed toward being the sparks to someone else’s gasoline. It is easier to prevent and almost impossible to stop once the emotions get turned on.
In every facet of our lives we can make a difference to the quality of those times by controlling our own emotional responses. It requires that we realize how we are feeling at the time. We should also become aware of how others are feeling. Do we get angry and frustrated because the other person doesn’t agree with us immediately? Do they insist upon clinging to their idiotic ideas? Do these questions tell us more about ourselves then the other person? If we are honest about it we will admit that their “faulty” thinking is more about us than about them.
We may experience a host of feelings that have little to do with the merits of the discussion, but more about how we feel -- rejected or discounted. If we are feeling these emotions, then the other person is probably feeling the same. As we become aware of our feelings and how the other person may be feeling, we can short-circuit the angry outcome. We can change our point of view physically and/or psychologically. When we stand side by side we are facing a common challenge.
It may become necessary to just walk away from the interaction. It can make all the difference. A cooling off period gives all parties to the interaction the opportunity to review their interests and how they might conflict with the other person. We might even be inclined to amend our view. We may have to agree to disagree. Do so agreeably.
Another option we have is to discuss with the other person how we are feeling when we are in their presence. They may not realize how their actions affect others. Bring the feelings into the open. Both parties can grow in a positive direction.
I have given my students “permission” to let me know publicly or privately whenever I have done or said something that has caused them discomfort. With such discussions we will learn more about each other. I cannot change what I do not know is bothersome to others, nor can they. There is no guarantee that either of us will change our behavior, but my guess is that we both will.
Jack’s Nugget: If you want to know how much gas is in the can, use a flashlight.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Friday, January 06, 2006
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Chapter Nine: The Mystery of Packing A Trunk
In the first few years of our marriage, my wife and I were packing the car for a vacation. Both of us are college educated, reasonably intelligent individuals, and understand that there is more than one way to pack the trunk.
We were both bringing items from the house. At one point I began to put items in the trunk. My wife would then question the placement of the items. I began to feel that I was being challenged in ways I didn’t like. I adopted my favorite defensive response of passive aggressiveness. I stated that if she could do it better she was welcome to do the job herself. (She remembers it slightly differently. She is the one who “lets” me do the packing. On her part it is not passive aggressive behavior.) I admit that I was feeling quite angry that my skills should be attacked in such a way.
As I thought about the situation more, I realized that we had a control issue that needed resolving. I realized that my response was inappropriate. From that time to this whenever we begin to have a difference of opinion about some task, either one of us may say to the other, “Are we packing a trunk?” With that question we short circuit any negative feelings or arguments that may be building. We substitute a positive and humorous attitude for the negative feelings and proceed to get done whatever we planned. It is an opportunity for each of us to let the other know that they can gladly take the leadership role. Each of us supports the other. It certainly has helped reduce the number of senseless arguments, sulking, pouting or other negative behaviors that get in the way of a great relationship.
The participants in all relationships will eventually face the issue of control. Who is in charge? How do we decide? Why must the other person challenge me?
Who is in charge? That is a natural question whenever two or more people are about to embark on an activity. In most instances someone suggests a course of action and away they go. If the activity is relatively minor there is usually no conflict. However, there are times when it is important to have someone in charge. We usually agree that the person with the most experience and knowledge of the activity should take the lead. Most times this is a reasonable plan. There are times when a less experienced person may have an insight that will make the project proceed much more efficiently and effectively. There must be some agreement on how to adapt to this situation. It must be agreed upon ahead of time.
How do we decide? One of the best ways to reach decisions on who will be in charge is through consensus. In my experience, the person with the most energy about the project will usually have the energy necessary to lead the group to a successful conclusion. Reminding the group about the goal will aid in goal achievement.
Why must the other person challenge me? They may have more knowledge about the project. They may have their own personal issues. This question requires personal soul searching. Whenever we ask this question we may feel inadequate, and we don’t want to admit it. It is easier to attack the other person than face our own “demons.” We must take that step to look at ourselves and discover why we feel inadequate. If it is a matter of training, then get more training.
On the other hand, if it is a matter of self worth, that may be more difficult to set right. The first step to changing is to recognize we have the difficulty. It may require the assistance of a person trained in guiding others through such personal exploration. It is imperative for the relationship to take the steps to broaden our view of the world and our place in it. We can change how we choose to interact with others.
We can follow the concept from neuro-linguistic programming -- whenever we are not satisfied with what is happening to us we need to do something different until we do like what is happening to us. Remember, you earn the way others treat you. Whether it is positive or negative, how we are treated is a direct result of how we present ourselves to others.
Jack’s Nugget: For any given space in time there are an infinite number of ways to stuff things into it. Be flexible.
Take me back to the Directions page:
We were both bringing items from the house. At one point I began to put items in the trunk. My wife would then question the placement of the items. I began to feel that I was being challenged in ways I didn’t like. I adopted my favorite defensive response of passive aggressiveness. I stated that if she could do it better she was welcome to do the job herself. (She remembers it slightly differently. She is the one who “lets” me do the packing. On her part it is not passive aggressive behavior.) I admit that I was feeling quite angry that my skills should be attacked in such a way.
As I thought about the situation more, I realized that we had a control issue that needed resolving. I realized that my response was inappropriate. From that time to this whenever we begin to have a difference of opinion about some task, either one of us may say to the other, “Are we packing a trunk?” With that question we short circuit any negative feelings or arguments that may be building. We substitute a positive and humorous attitude for the negative feelings and proceed to get done whatever we planned. It is an opportunity for each of us to let the other know that they can gladly take the leadership role. Each of us supports the other. It certainly has helped reduce the number of senseless arguments, sulking, pouting or other negative behaviors that get in the way of a great relationship.
The participants in all relationships will eventually face the issue of control. Who is in charge? How do we decide? Why must the other person challenge me?
Who is in charge? That is a natural question whenever two or more people are about to embark on an activity. In most instances someone suggests a course of action and away they go. If the activity is relatively minor there is usually no conflict. However, there are times when it is important to have someone in charge. We usually agree that the person with the most experience and knowledge of the activity should take the lead. Most times this is a reasonable plan. There are times when a less experienced person may have an insight that will make the project proceed much more efficiently and effectively. There must be some agreement on how to adapt to this situation. It must be agreed upon ahead of time.
How do we decide? One of the best ways to reach decisions on who will be in charge is through consensus. In my experience, the person with the most energy about the project will usually have the energy necessary to lead the group to a successful conclusion. Reminding the group about the goal will aid in goal achievement.
Why must the other person challenge me? They may have more knowledge about the project. They may have their own personal issues. This question requires personal soul searching. Whenever we ask this question we may feel inadequate, and we don’t want to admit it. It is easier to attack the other person than face our own “demons.” We must take that step to look at ourselves and discover why we feel inadequate. If it is a matter of training, then get more training.
On the other hand, if it is a matter of self worth, that may be more difficult to set right. The first step to changing is to recognize we have the difficulty. It may require the assistance of a person trained in guiding others through such personal exploration. It is imperative for the relationship to take the steps to broaden our view of the world and our place in it. We can change how we choose to interact with others.
We can follow the concept from neuro-linguistic programming -- whenever we are not satisfied with what is happening to us we need to do something different until we do like what is happening to us. Remember, you earn the way others treat you. Whether it is positive or negative, how we are treated is a direct result of how we present ourselves to others.
Jack’s Nugget: For any given space in time there are an infinite number of ways to stuff things into it. Be flexible.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Chapter Ten: Be A Hero To Your Kid(s)
Being a hero to your children can be the most important and rewarding thing you can do. It doesn’t mean you have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. All you have to do is love them, respect them, and treat them with dignity. Let them know that you value them. If you can mix some humor with this approach it will be an added bonus.
What would you do if your oldest child, a junior in high school, told you she wanted to attend the University of Hawaii and you lived in Kansas? Or your young son asked you to buy him a hamster? Your immediate response might likely be a resounding NO, particularly if you find hamsters repulsive. I would like to suggest you consider saying yes, but expressing whatever reservations you will have.
In the first case you might suggest that she consider that you only have so much money earmarked for her college education. Then have her contact the high school guidance counselor to gather information about likely courses, living arrangements, and the funds required. Make her responsible for making the plan. Listen attentively to her plan. Ask pertinent questions about the things you think of that she has not. Do not make judgments about the plan. If it is possible to execute the plan then do so, if not, then clearly express the reasons. You have another opportunity for meaningful conversation and dialogue. Most of the reasons will become apparent during the discussion. The reasons you give should have more substance than, “Because I’m your parent and I’m bigger than you.” Or, “It’s my money.” Or, “I need you closer to home so I can keep an eye on you.”
In the second instance discuss with him the ground rules--he will be responsible to fund the project from his allowance, take care of the animal, house the animal in his room. You can even make it a part of the bargain that if the hamster does get out of his room the hamster is history. Then lead the youngster through the problem solving process. Help him define the problem, determine those factors that will have a bearing on the problem, develop options to resolve the problem, and establish a way to evaluate the solution. In this case help him determine the costs of owning a hamster. Compare that to the amount of income he has from an allowance. When he has had an opportunity to determine the cost and expense he will discover that he might just have to put off the plan until he can afford it.
One of the most important aspects of this process is listening. That means you must hear what the child is saying and how the child is saying it. In some instances the child might want you to say no because the peer pressure is very strong. It is OK to let the child know that if he/she needs a “bad guy” to keep him/her from doing something “wrong”, you are prepared to do that. You do not have to agree with the chosen course of action of the child, and if it is absolutely life threatening or will cause extensive property damage you have every right to say NO. You still have a responsibility to keep your children safe. However, when the child selects a course of action which has some negative consequences let that be a learning experience. And, you should never say, “I told you so.” Remember how your character was built. You faced some adversity and came out of it stronger than when you went into it. Children need the opportunity to learn from their mistakes, too.
There are several benefits to this approach. You teach your child problem solving, demonstrate how to listen, show that you value your child, and open the door to future conversations. You may even find that in the future the child will probably tell you things that you might not want to hear, but should. Remember that during the process you must remain nonjudgmental.
In the two situations above the young lady earned a Fine Arts degree from the University of Kansas. The young man discovered that he could not afford the hamster. The family eventually settled on a pet bird.
Society gains when we are heroes to our children. They become heroes their own children.
Jack’s nugget: Love your children enough to let then learn from their choices and mistakes.
Take me back to the Directions page:
What would you do if your oldest child, a junior in high school, told you she wanted to attend the University of Hawaii and you lived in Kansas? Or your young son asked you to buy him a hamster? Your immediate response might likely be a resounding NO, particularly if you find hamsters repulsive. I would like to suggest you consider saying yes, but expressing whatever reservations you will have.
In the first case you might suggest that she consider that you only have so much money earmarked for her college education. Then have her contact the high school guidance counselor to gather information about likely courses, living arrangements, and the funds required. Make her responsible for making the plan. Listen attentively to her plan. Ask pertinent questions about the things you think of that she has not. Do not make judgments about the plan. If it is possible to execute the plan then do so, if not, then clearly express the reasons. You have another opportunity for meaningful conversation and dialogue. Most of the reasons will become apparent during the discussion. The reasons you give should have more substance than, “Because I’m your parent and I’m bigger than you.” Or, “It’s my money.” Or, “I need you closer to home so I can keep an eye on you.”
In the second instance discuss with him the ground rules--he will be responsible to fund the project from his allowance, take care of the animal, house the animal in his room. You can even make it a part of the bargain that if the hamster does get out of his room the hamster is history. Then lead the youngster through the problem solving process. Help him define the problem, determine those factors that will have a bearing on the problem, develop options to resolve the problem, and establish a way to evaluate the solution. In this case help him determine the costs of owning a hamster. Compare that to the amount of income he has from an allowance. When he has had an opportunity to determine the cost and expense he will discover that he might just have to put off the plan until he can afford it.
One of the most important aspects of this process is listening. That means you must hear what the child is saying and how the child is saying it. In some instances the child might want you to say no because the peer pressure is very strong. It is OK to let the child know that if he/she needs a “bad guy” to keep him/her from doing something “wrong”, you are prepared to do that. You do not have to agree with the chosen course of action of the child, and if it is absolutely life threatening or will cause extensive property damage you have every right to say NO. You still have a responsibility to keep your children safe. However, when the child selects a course of action which has some negative consequences let that be a learning experience. And, you should never say, “I told you so.” Remember how your character was built. You faced some adversity and came out of it stronger than when you went into it. Children need the opportunity to learn from their mistakes, too.
There are several benefits to this approach. You teach your child problem solving, demonstrate how to listen, show that you value your child, and open the door to future conversations. You may even find that in the future the child will probably tell you things that you might not want to hear, but should. Remember that during the process you must remain nonjudgmental.
In the two situations above the young lady earned a Fine Arts degree from the University of Kansas. The young man discovered that he could not afford the hamster. The family eventually settled on a pet bird.
Society gains when we are heroes to our children. They become heroes their own children.
Jack’s nugget: Love your children enough to let then learn from their choices and mistakes.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Chapter Eleven: “Aunt Tillie's Trunk in the Attic”
This may seem like an odd statement. And, on its own, it is. However, it was initially aimed at the folks who are preparing to take the real estate examinations. Most states require training and testing prior to issuing a real estate license to applicants. The state wants to insure that the people who are licensed are competent. The transfer of ownership of real estate is a complex process. Practitioners need to know a vast amount of information about the process.
One of the primary goals in my real estate classes is to teach the participants how to take a multiple-choice test. It is safe to say that most of them were anxious about taking tests the last time they were tested. Whatever their fears were in the past these fears tend to be exaggerated over time.
To help them overcome their fears they are given a method to put the odds in their favor. With a standard multiple-choice test the odds are one in four. With the technique they learn in class the odds are changed to 50-50. Not bad odds. There are six simple steps to follow. For those of you who might have some interest in the technique, here it is.
1. Cover the answers. By covering the answers you do not contaminate your thinking by selecting an answer prior to knowing what is being asked.
2. Read the question – carefully. The greatest problem most people have when reading anything is not taking the time to read the information carefully. This step relies on the test takers understanding of the material being tested.
3. Understand the problem. This is particularly important in testing or when entering into a contract. It is essential that the content be fully understood prior to considering an answer.
4. Determine the answer. Once the problem is read and understood it is much easier to formulate the correct answer to the question.
5. Uncover and find the answer. With the correct answer in mind the multiple choice question has effectively been turned into a true-false question. Each of the possible answers is matched to the correct answer. When the examinee finds the answer that matches the correct one, that answer is marked and the examinee can move on to the next question.
6. Do not linger too long on any one question. There will be questions that the examinee might not understand immediately. Some people are stubborn enough to stay with the question until they figure it out. This approach is time consuming and unnecessary. Subsequent questions will provide clues to the “difficult” question. Here is were we apply the “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic” phrase.
Have you ever written a report, letter, essay or other such document? Do you recall that in the middle of the writing you were suddenly reminded of something as unrelated to the report as “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic”? It happens to all of us. It is the unique way that the human brain works. We can compare the operation of the human brain to the operation of a computer’s memory. Both store bits/bytes of information in random places in the memory. These bits/bytes of information are tied together with an electronic “string”. With the computer, we tap the enter/return key and the entire file appears on the screen as neat and tidy as when we saved it. On the other hand the electronic “string” that the brain uses is not as smooth as the one in the computer. So when we tap the mental enter/return key for the brain out pops “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic.” It was stored in a spot next to some of the data that comprises our report.
Realizing that this is a natural phenomenon allows us to use it to our advantage. When we come across those few questions on the test that are not immediately clear to us, we just move onto the next question and rely on the power of “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic.” One of the subsequent questions will undoubtedly provide us the necessary insights to the questions that were not previously clear.
Understanding the power of the “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic” will aid us in our studies. Underlying our success in testing is the requirement to study the material carefully. There is no substitute for knowledge.
Jack’s Nugget: Understand and use the power of your brain.
Take me back to the Directions page:
One of the primary goals in my real estate classes is to teach the participants how to take a multiple-choice test. It is safe to say that most of them were anxious about taking tests the last time they were tested. Whatever their fears were in the past these fears tend to be exaggerated over time.
To help them overcome their fears they are given a method to put the odds in their favor. With a standard multiple-choice test the odds are one in four. With the technique they learn in class the odds are changed to 50-50. Not bad odds. There are six simple steps to follow. For those of you who might have some interest in the technique, here it is.
1. Cover the answers. By covering the answers you do not contaminate your thinking by selecting an answer prior to knowing what is being asked.
2. Read the question – carefully. The greatest problem most people have when reading anything is not taking the time to read the information carefully. This step relies on the test takers understanding of the material being tested.
3. Understand the problem. This is particularly important in testing or when entering into a contract. It is essential that the content be fully understood prior to considering an answer.
4. Determine the answer. Once the problem is read and understood it is much easier to formulate the correct answer to the question.
5. Uncover and find the answer. With the correct answer in mind the multiple choice question has effectively been turned into a true-false question. Each of the possible answers is matched to the correct answer. When the examinee finds the answer that matches the correct one, that answer is marked and the examinee can move on to the next question.
6. Do not linger too long on any one question. There will be questions that the examinee might not understand immediately. Some people are stubborn enough to stay with the question until they figure it out. This approach is time consuming and unnecessary. Subsequent questions will provide clues to the “difficult” question. Here is were we apply the “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic” phrase.
Have you ever written a report, letter, essay or other such document? Do you recall that in the middle of the writing you were suddenly reminded of something as unrelated to the report as “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic”? It happens to all of us. It is the unique way that the human brain works. We can compare the operation of the human brain to the operation of a computer’s memory. Both store bits/bytes of information in random places in the memory. These bits/bytes of information are tied together with an electronic “string”. With the computer, we tap the enter/return key and the entire file appears on the screen as neat and tidy as when we saved it. On the other hand the electronic “string” that the brain uses is not as smooth as the one in the computer. So when we tap the mental enter/return key for the brain out pops “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic.” It was stored in a spot next to some of the data that comprises our report.
Realizing that this is a natural phenomenon allows us to use it to our advantage. When we come across those few questions on the test that are not immediately clear to us, we just move onto the next question and rely on the power of “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic.” One of the subsequent questions will undoubtedly provide us the necessary insights to the questions that were not previously clear.
Understanding the power of the “Aunt Tillie’s trunk in the attic” will aid us in our studies. Underlying our success in testing is the requirement to study the material carefully. There is no substitute for knowledge.
Jack’s Nugget: Understand and use the power of your brain.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Monday, January 02, 2006
Chapter Twelve: “’Mr. Wonderful’, Please Change”
I am constantly amazed at the letters to advice columnists in the newspaper that go something like this. “I need your advice. I have been with “Mr. Wonderful” for several years. During that time he has yelled at me, beaten me, expected me to support him and his drugs and/or booze, stayed out all night, slept with my best friends, stolen money from my purse, wrecked my car, killed my cat, won’t do anything to keep the place clean, or told me that he is the only one who will want me. And besides that he leaves the lid up all of the time. I really love him. I think once we’re married I can change him. What should I do? Should I marry him? Did I tell you I really love him? Well, I do.” Signed – “Ms. Desperately in Love”. This is a compilation of many letters to advice columnists.
My heart aches for “Ms. Desperately in Love”. She seems oblivious to the idea that she does not have to suffer the abuse that is being heaped upon her. She may have confused his lust for control for love. She is convinced that she doesn’t deserve better. “Ms. Desperately in Love” is willing to put up with the negativity that is heaped upon her by her “beloved.” She believes she has found that special someone, “Mr. Wonderful”, who will stay with her forever. What if he does have a few flaws, she believes she can change him, over time. The one thing that “Ms. Desperately in Love” needs to realize the last time he was changed was prior to his being potty trained. After that any change of behavior is strictly up to him, and not very likely.
“Ms. Desperately in Love” needs to understand that she will not be able to change “Mr. Wonderful”. Only he can or will make the change. “Mr. Wonderful” has developed a method of behavior that he believes has brought him success in life. He hasn’t had to seriously look at himself and how his behavior has an impact on others. There is a good chance that he feels as poorly about himself as “Ms. Desperately in Love” feels about herself. “Mr. Wonderful” covers up his deep-seated feelings of inferiority by acting superior at the expense of everyone else. Others can only affect a temporary change in “Mr. Wonderful”. Lasting change can only come from within. “Mr. Wonderful” will have to learn to love, and respect himself if he is ever going to regard others in the same manner.
“Ms. Desperately in Love” needs to realize that the relationship is what it is, and the outcomes are not totally her responsibility. The “blame” she bears is the one of believing that she can effect lasting change in someone who will continually abuse her. “Ms. Desperately in Love” can best help herself by changing her view of the world and her place in it. She cannot escape her feelings of inadequacy by “escaping” into marriage or parenthood.
Here is a situation where an ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure. It is also a situation wherein the culture/society shoulders some of the responsibility. Prevention begins at an early age. Children need to be taught to value themselves more. The best way for this to occur is for parents to value them. Parenting requires attention to the needs of the child, not just the material needs, but the well being needs as well. The needs to be recognized as a separate human being who is endeavoring to find a place in the world--a person who has worth.
We, the culture/society, play a big part in this when we promote the fair and equitable treatment of ALL. We can do this by recognizing the worth of all people regardless of their race, color, creed, national origin, gender, or “handicap/disability” differences. To be different is not to be better or worse. It is just to be different.
What can “Ms. Desperately in Love” do to protect herself? She must recognize her own self-worth. Her family and closest friends have to step in and provide her with the moral, physical and legal support at the very first sign of abuse.
Unfortunately there are too many examples of “Mr. Wonderful” taking matters into his own hands and killing or seriously harming the woman with whom he is so "desperately in love". It is his last resort. It is a flawed conclusion.
Jack’s Nugget: Preventing abuse starts with loving yourself.
Take me back to the Directions page:
My heart aches for “Ms. Desperately in Love”. She seems oblivious to the idea that she does not have to suffer the abuse that is being heaped upon her. She may have confused his lust for control for love. She is convinced that she doesn’t deserve better. “Ms. Desperately in Love” is willing to put up with the negativity that is heaped upon her by her “beloved.” She believes she has found that special someone, “Mr. Wonderful”, who will stay with her forever. What if he does have a few flaws, she believes she can change him, over time. The one thing that “Ms. Desperately in Love” needs to realize the last time he was changed was prior to his being potty trained. After that any change of behavior is strictly up to him, and not very likely.
“Ms. Desperately in Love” needs to understand that she will not be able to change “Mr. Wonderful”. Only he can or will make the change. “Mr. Wonderful” has developed a method of behavior that he believes has brought him success in life. He hasn’t had to seriously look at himself and how his behavior has an impact on others. There is a good chance that he feels as poorly about himself as “Ms. Desperately in Love” feels about herself. “Mr. Wonderful” covers up his deep-seated feelings of inferiority by acting superior at the expense of everyone else. Others can only affect a temporary change in “Mr. Wonderful”. Lasting change can only come from within. “Mr. Wonderful” will have to learn to love, and respect himself if he is ever going to regard others in the same manner.
“Ms. Desperately in Love” needs to realize that the relationship is what it is, and the outcomes are not totally her responsibility. The “blame” she bears is the one of believing that she can effect lasting change in someone who will continually abuse her. “Ms. Desperately in Love” can best help herself by changing her view of the world and her place in it. She cannot escape her feelings of inadequacy by “escaping” into marriage or parenthood.
Here is a situation where an ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure. It is also a situation wherein the culture/society shoulders some of the responsibility. Prevention begins at an early age. Children need to be taught to value themselves more. The best way for this to occur is for parents to value them. Parenting requires attention to the needs of the child, not just the material needs, but the well being needs as well. The needs to be recognized as a separate human being who is endeavoring to find a place in the world--a person who has worth.
We, the culture/society, play a big part in this when we promote the fair and equitable treatment of ALL. We can do this by recognizing the worth of all people regardless of their race, color, creed, national origin, gender, or “handicap/disability” differences. To be different is not to be better or worse. It is just to be different.
What can “Ms. Desperately in Love” do to protect herself? She must recognize her own self-worth. Her family and closest friends have to step in and provide her with the moral, physical and legal support at the very first sign of abuse.
Unfortunately there are too many examples of “Mr. Wonderful” taking matters into his own hands and killing or seriously harming the woman with whom he is so "desperately in love". It is his last resort. It is a flawed conclusion.
Jack’s Nugget: Preventing abuse starts with loving yourself.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Chapter Thirteen: Life is About Choices
Every choice we make is the right one and every choice is the wrong one. No matter what, we will choose something. The choices we make shape our lives, and influence the lives of others.
How often do you consciously think about the choices you make daily? Do you spend much time at each decision point before choosing? Do you even recognize when you are at a decision making point? Are you impulsive in the choices you make? Do you let others make choices for you? Do you make choices for others?
Every day we are faced with choices. Most of them are made without much effort. Do you put your pants on left leg or right leg first? You probably don’t stop to think about it. If you did you might still be working on it. Many, perhaps most, of our choices are made from habit. We learn very early the preferred pants leg to put on first. The choice isn’t monumental. It is just a choice, but we could be there all day if stopped to weigh the consequences of that choice.
There other choices we make that seem as innocent and harmless that we make much the same way. Should we eat breakfast? Should we go to school? Should we choose this career or that? With whom should we associate? Will we have a life mate?
Every choice we make does shape our lives. Thank goodness most of our choices are as inconsequential as getting dressed. When dressing we can usually make choices to meet society’s requirement to be dressed in public. We may not satisfy everyone’s taste in “proper” attire, but most of our bodies are covered. We should think more about choices that might have a negative affect on our bodies, minds and relationships. Surprisingly, some of the choices that seem the least important are anything but that. Sometimes there are external factors that greatly influence our choices.
There is no “wrong” choice, just choice. When some choices are made with little thought the results can be disastrous. Or, at least seem that way. As an example: Someone is being mugged. I intervene. The mugging is thwarted. That seems like a right choice. However, what if the mugger, the victim or I get seriously injured as a result. Is my choice to intervene right or wrong? We might be willing to say that the mugger got what he deserved if he is injured so the choice was right. The choice to come to that conclusion might be right, but that is the topic for another discussion. (Is the choice to make that last statement right or wrong?) The point is-we make choices.
Another example: In chapter twelve I discussed dysfunctional, abusive relationships. Both of those people have chosen to be in that relationship. Each has a reason for being there. At that time, each of them believes they are receiving what they want. Most of us would say that they are not really analyzing the situation clearly. They probably aren’t, but what is their payoff? They probably don’t take the time to make that kind of analysis at the beginning of the relationship. It isn’t until the abuse gets worse that they begin to question the choices they made that got them to that point.
What about the choice to have one more “small” drink before driving home? There are sufficient statistics to support the idea that the choice turned out badly. People get injured and killed daily because of the choice of the drinking driver. What about the choices of the victim? It is not my intent to minimize the pain and grief of the victims. I think it might be interesting to look at the choices they made that brought them to the scene of the accident. In chapter six I discuss the responsibility we all share in the outcome of events.
A way to put this in perspective might be that this is all part of a grander plan that we have had a hand in planning. We have decided to have coincidental events occur that will provide us lessons to learn. We must then choose to learn the lesson or not. At some time the lesson will be learned.
It would be easy for me to say we must stop being lazy about contemplating the choices we make. But that is just one choice. What is yours?
Jack’s Nugget: My life is the sum of my choices, so is yours.
Take me back to the Directions page:
How often do you consciously think about the choices you make daily? Do you spend much time at each decision point before choosing? Do you even recognize when you are at a decision making point? Are you impulsive in the choices you make? Do you let others make choices for you? Do you make choices for others?
Every day we are faced with choices. Most of them are made without much effort. Do you put your pants on left leg or right leg first? You probably don’t stop to think about it. If you did you might still be working on it. Many, perhaps most, of our choices are made from habit. We learn very early the preferred pants leg to put on first. The choice isn’t monumental. It is just a choice, but we could be there all day if stopped to weigh the consequences of that choice.
There other choices we make that seem as innocent and harmless that we make much the same way. Should we eat breakfast? Should we go to school? Should we choose this career or that? With whom should we associate? Will we have a life mate?
Every choice we make does shape our lives. Thank goodness most of our choices are as inconsequential as getting dressed. When dressing we can usually make choices to meet society’s requirement to be dressed in public. We may not satisfy everyone’s taste in “proper” attire, but most of our bodies are covered. We should think more about choices that might have a negative affect on our bodies, minds and relationships. Surprisingly, some of the choices that seem the least important are anything but that. Sometimes there are external factors that greatly influence our choices.
There is no “wrong” choice, just choice. When some choices are made with little thought the results can be disastrous. Or, at least seem that way. As an example: Someone is being mugged. I intervene. The mugging is thwarted. That seems like a right choice. However, what if the mugger, the victim or I get seriously injured as a result. Is my choice to intervene right or wrong? We might be willing to say that the mugger got what he deserved if he is injured so the choice was right. The choice to come to that conclusion might be right, but that is the topic for another discussion. (Is the choice to make that last statement right or wrong?) The point is-we make choices.
Another example: In chapter twelve I discussed dysfunctional, abusive relationships. Both of those people have chosen to be in that relationship. Each has a reason for being there. At that time, each of them believes they are receiving what they want. Most of us would say that they are not really analyzing the situation clearly. They probably aren’t, but what is their payoff? They probably don’t take the time to make that kind of analysis at the beginning of the relationship. It isn’t until the abuse gets worse that they begin to question the choices they made that got them to that point.
What about the choice to have one more “small” drink before driving home? There are sufficient statistics to support the idea that the choice turned out badly. People get injured and killed daily because of the choice of the drinking driver. What about the choices of the victim? It is not my intent to minimize the pain and grief of the victims. I think it might be interesting to look at the choices they made that brought them to the scene of the accident. In chapter six I discuss the responsibility we all share in the outcome of events.
A way to put this in perspective might be that this is all part of a grander plan that we have had a hand in planning. We have decided to have coincidental events occur that will provide us lessons to learn. We must then choose to learn the lesson or not. At some time the lesson will be learned.
It would be easy for me to say we must stop being lazy about contemplating the choices we make. But that is just one choice. What is yours?
Jack’s Nugget: My life is the sum of my choices, so is yours.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Chapter Fourteen: Living or Existing
Do I live or do I exist? That question reminds me of a part of Hamlet’s soliloquy--"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them."
William Shakespeare
Did Hamlet live or exist? One way to answer the question might be he did both. However, a case can be made to suggest that if a person chooses to not examine his/her life then life is mere existence. To choose to sit back and let life throw at you what it will is a choice that each of us must make from time-to-time. And, as mentioned in the previous chapter, the choice can be both the right one and the wrong one.
The first few lines of Hamlet’s soliloquy might well have said, “To live, or not to live: that is the question.” This seems to be the struggle he is having. Reading the total soliloquy will suggest he is thinking about suicide, and that can be a valid choice. I, personally, do not recommend it, but it is a choice.
We would be well served by asking this question of ourselves. Do I want to live or do I want to exist? Can I vacillate between the two? What do each of them mean to me? The answers to these questions can only have meaning to the person who asks them about themselves. For some, their life journey may well be to “…suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” In spite of that, can a person live under such circumstances?
To move from mere existence to living, requires a conscious choice. The choice to live one’s life is one that requires some introspection. It requires that we love ourselves enough to love others. It means we must behave in ways that will be of service to others. It means we must find the beauty and blessings in the events that we have chosen to make up our lives.
Jack’s Nugget: To live and love fully, do good works.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them."
William Shakespeare
Did Hamlet live or exist? One way to answer the question might be he did both. However, a case can be made to suggest that if a person chooses to not examine his/her life then life is mere existence. To choose to sit back and let life throw at you what it will is a choice that each of us must make from time-to-time. And, as mentioned in the previous chapter, the choice can be both the right one and the wrong one.
The first few lines of Hamlet’s soliloquy might well have said, “To live, or not to live: that is the question.” This seems to be the struggle he is having. Reading the total soliloquy will suggest he is thinking about suicide, and that can be a valid choice. I, personally, do not recommend it, but it is a choice.
We would be well served by asking this question of ourselves. Do I want to live or do I want to exist? Can I vacillate between the two? What do each of them mean to me? The answers to these questions can only have meaning to the person who asks them about themselves. For some, their life journey may well be to “…suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” In spite of that, can a person live under such circumstances?
To move from mere existence to living, requires a conscious choice. The choice to live one’s life is one that requires some introspection. It requires that we love ourselves enough to love others. It means we must behave in ways that will be of service to others. It means we must find the beauty and blessings in the events that we have chosen to make up our lives.
Jack’s Nugget: To live and love fully, do good works.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Friday, December 30, 2005
Chapter Fifteen: Discovering Your Personal Power
One of the things I endeavor to do in my real estate classes is to encourage a positive mind set for success. Many of the previous chapters are evidence of this effort. Indeed, this collection of “nuggets” has been gleaned primarily from such classes.
In the class that just ended the idea of discovering and exerting your personal power surfaced, ergo, another chapter was born. It seems important to share these ideas of potential personal growth is part and parcel of preparing for a new career.
Discovering your personal power is the realization that you are a person of worth and dignity. You are a person to be reckoned with, and not in a negative way. You are someone who has a positive sense of your place in the world. You care enough about yourself that you are ready to serve others and care about them. You are not abusive toward others and you do not permit others to be abusive toward you.
In my own life I can remember when I didn’t even think in these terms. While I didn’t have knowledge of such terminology, I did use positional power. I can clearly remember a time early in my teaching experience when I exercised my positional power. What is a young, skinny, “four-eyed” kid supposed to do when put into a situation of power. I out-ranked them by at least one stripe. It was only “natural” to take advantage of my position when they wouldn’t get down to work. I remember one group that seemed to be made up of half the bad guys from Pittsburgh and half from Philadelphia. Upon reviewing the notes they were taking, several of them were working on some pseudo-pornographic material. I decided it might be time to conduct the obligatory, weekly “GI party” and clean the place up.
As I look back on it, I am not pleased with my actions. Then I didn’t know there was any other way to be in charge. You just had to let them know you were in charge the best way you could. I was a real tyrant.
It took quite a few years, more education, and expanding my reading and studies to learn there was a difference. Many of the books that influenced me are a part of this book. It became clear to me that positional power will only get the reluctant compliance of those with whom I worked. There were plenty of examples of other leaders who only used positional power. It was quite apparent that this approach was less then effective. Good leadership requires willing compliance with instructions.
During my studies I learned about the different types of power that people can exert. Since then I have also come to the conclusion that personal power requires one to be comfortable with one’s self, to be confident in one’s place in the world.
It is possible to be successful in any endeavor if one relies on personal power. I would suggest that people become familiar with their own personal power. Once they can do this, they will be able to present themselves in an extremely confident manner. Others will be more likely to want to spend time with them and rely on them to provide whatever service might be required. In real estate it is necessary to be able to serve the clientele. That is one of the most important skills the licensee brings to the interaction.
Most of us can recall more than one occasion where we had the pleasure of working/associating with a confident, positive person. We wanted to spend more time with that person. If they were service providers, we would go out of our way to refer others to them.
The more the licensee exhibits positive, personal power, the more confident the consumer will be that the transaction will be completed efficiently and effectively. The consumer will have a confidence similar to the licensee’s. It is more likely that the licensee will get more business in the future because of such positive behavior.
Take the time to determine your personal power. It may require some effort for some folks to find it and rely on it. Just remember, it is in all of us. Pay attention when you hear your inner voice guiding you toward your positive personal power.
Jack’s Nugget: Positive use of your personal power is a way to do good works.
Take me back to the Directions page:
In the class that just ended the idea of discovering and exerting your personal power surfaced, ergo, another chapter was born. It seems important to share these ideas of potential personal growth is part and parcel of preparing for a new career.
Discovering your personal power is the realization that you are a person of worth and dignity. You are a person to be reckoned with, and not in a negative way. You are someone who has a positive sense of your place in the world. You care enough about yourself that you are ready to serve others and care about them. You are not abusive toward others and you do not permit others to be abusive toward you.
In my own life I can remember when I didn’t even think in these terms. While I didn’t have knowledge of such terminology, I did use positional power. I can clearly remember a time early in my teaching experience when I exercised my positional power. What is a young, skinny, “four-eyed” kid supposed to do when put into a situation of power. I out-ranked them by at least one stripe. It was only “natural” to take advantage of my position when they wouldn’t get down to work. I remember one group that seemed to be made up of half the bad guys from Pittsburgh and half from Philadelphia. Upon reviewing the notes they were taking, several of them were working on some pseudo-pornographic material. I decided it might be time to conduct the obligatory, weekly “GI party” and clean the place up.
As I look back on it, I am not pleased with my actions. Then I didn’t know there was any other way to be in charge. You just had to let them know you were in charge the best way you could. I was a real tyrant.
It took quite a few years, more education, and expanding my reading and studies to learn there was a difference. Many of the books that influenced me are a part of this book. It became clear to me that positional power will only get the reluctant compliance of those with whom I worked. There were plenty of examples of other leaders who only used positional power. It was quite apparent that this approach was less then effective. Good leadership requires willing compliance with instructions.
During my studies I learned about the different types of power that people can exert. Since then I have also come to the conclusion that personal power requires one to be comfortable with one’s self, to be confident in one’s place in the world.
It is possible to be successful in any endeavor if one relies on personal power. I would suggest that people become familiar with their own personal power. Once they can do this, they will be able to present themselves in an extremely confident manner. Others will be more likely to want to spend time with them and rely on them to provide whatever service might be required. In real estate it is necessary to be able to serve the clientele. That is one of the most important skills the licensee brings to the interaction.
Most of us can recall more than one occasion where we had the pleasure of working/associating with a confident, positive person. We wanted to spend more time with that person. If they were service providers, we would go out of our way to refer others to them.
The more the licensee exhibits positive, personal power, the more confident the consumer will be that the transaction will be completed efficiently and effectively. The consumer will have a confidence similar to the licensee’s. It is more likely that the licensee will get more business in the future because of such positive behavior.
Take the time to determine your personal power. It may require some effort for some folks to find it and rely on it. Just remember, it is in all of us. Pay attention when you hear your inner voice guiding you toward your positive personal power.
Jack’s Nugget: Positive use of your personal power is a way to do good works.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Chapter Sixteen: Discover Your Spiritual Self - Part One
One of the missions I believe I have for this life is discovering my spiritual self. I believe we all share this same mission, but it is only one of many. We get caught up in the day-to-day survival activities and tend to forget about our spiritual life. I am realizing that when this occurs, our priorities are reversed.
Part of my realization process was reading, and paying attention to those things that were happening in my life. For about thirty years I have thought and talked about being able to connect to others at a different level/medium/realm of communication. For lack of a better way to describe it I have used the term energy level. The closest analogy I can use is a recent technological advance – instant messaging. However, it is much more sophisticated than that. It occurs on a level that is beyond non-verbal.
There are some people with whom I have had the pleasure of sharing time and space. I felt I have known forever. There are not many, but when we meet it is as if we are reconnecting. I know that they are strangers to me when I first see them, but after a very few moments together, I know we are “family”.
As we begin talking about anything I sense almost immediately that we will be able to communicate and rely on each other to understand what is being said. The sensing is mutual. I have found a kindred spirit. If I could see auras, I am sure that the auras around each of us are strong, positive, optimistic, joyful, intense and healthy. We are probably from the same soul unit. After spending some time together we will be able to finish each other’s sentences. We are synchronized without making an effort to do so.
This is an exhilarating experience for me. It doesn’t happen often. When it does it is magical.
Another indicator of spirituality is my reaction to music. I am so overwhelmed by some music that I am brought to tears. I wonder if the songwriter had the same feelings when composing it. Sometimes it is just the musical notes and sometimes the combination of notes and words. Examples of this are Herbie Mann’s rendition of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, Merle Haggard’s That’s the Way Love Goes, and Eric Clapton’s My Father’s Eyes.
Some books have had similar affects on me. I read Richard Bach’s Jonathon Livingston Seagull in about 45 minutes while attending the FBI National Academy many years ago. It brought tears to my eyes because of its spiritual beauty. From this experience I became more aware of this feeling and began to seek other similar experiences. I couldn’t wait to read other similar material. When Bach’s Illusions came out I got it as a Christmas gift. I read it completely that day amidst children enjoying their gifts, in-laws celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary and Penn State playing Arizona State in a bowl game. (My wife is a Penn State alum and I graduated from ASU.) There have been many more books that have influenced me over the years, including the Messages from Michael series and The Hawayo Takata Story. As with the music mentioned above these are just a few of the many.
There were also discussions with friends that I now realize have been part of my spiritual discovery journey. There were philosophy classes during my undergraduate work that awakened me to the Eastern philosophies and religions. They resonated with me in ways that suggested a higher connection than just reading words and ideas. It was an inner realization that these concepts “felt right”. I suspect these feelings were my first conscious connection with spiritual energy. Further reading, study and discussions with friends increased this awareness. It made me look for more connections. I became aware of my responsibility/duty to be open to such connections. I also realized that such connections can’t be forced. I have to let them happen. I am now discovering that even the smallest, least significant event can be such a connection. Sometimes it is the “stumbling across” the blog of people from different countries.
Jack’s Nugget: The spiritual journey is constant, be open to it.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Part of my realization process was reading, and paying attention to those things that were happening in my life. For about thirty years I have thought and talked about being able to connect to others at a different level/medium/realm of communication. For lack of a better way to describe it I have used the term energy level. The closest analogy I can use is a recent technological advance – instant messaging. However, it is much more sophisticated than that. It occurs on a level that is beyond non-verbal.
There are some people with whom I have had the pleasure of sharing time and space. I felt I have known forever. There are not many, but when we meet it is as if we are reconnecting. I know that they are strangers to me when I first see them, but after a very few moments together, I know we are “family”.
As we begin talking about anything I sense almost immediately that we will be able to communicate and rely on each other to understand what is being said. The sensing is mutual. I have found a kindred spirit. If I could see auras, I am sure that the auras around each of us are strong, positive, optimistic, joyful, intense and healthy. We are probably from the same soul unit. After spending some time together we will be able to finish each other’s sentences. We are synchronized without making an effort to do so.
This is an exhilarating experience for me. It doesn’t happen often. When it does it is magical.
Another indicator of spirituality is my reaction to music. I am so overwhelmed by some music that I am brought to tears. I wonder if the songwriter had the same feelings when composing it. Sometimes it is just the musical notes and sometimes the combination of notes and words. Examples of this are Herbie Mann’s rendition of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, Merle Haggard’s That’s the Way Love Goes, and Eric Clapton’s My Father’s Eyes.
Some books have had similar affects on me. I read Richard Bach’s Jonathon Livingston Seagull in about 45 minutes while attending the FBI National Academy many years ago. It brought tears to my eyes because of its spiritual beauty. From this experience I became more aware of this feeling and began to seek other similar experiences. I couldn’t wait to read other similar material. When Bach’s Illusions came out I got it as a Christmas gift. I read it completely that day amidst children enjoying their gifts, in-laws celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary and Penn State playing Arizona State in a bowl game. (My wife is a Penn State alum and I graduated from ASU.) There have been many more books that have influenced me over the years, including the Messages from Michael series and The Hawayo Takata Story. As with the music mentioned above these are just a few of the many.
There were also discussions with friends that I now realize have been part of my spiritual discovery journey. There were philosophy classes during my undergraduate work that awakened me to the Eastern philosophies and religions. They resonated with me in ways that suggested a higher connection than just reading words and ideas. It was an inner realization that these concepts “felt right”. I suspect these feelings were my first conscious connection with spiritual energy. Further reading, study and discussions with friends increased this awareness. It made me look for more connections. I became aware of my responsibility/duty to be open to such connections. I also realized that such connections can’t be forced. I have to let them happen. I am now discovering that even the smallest, least significant event can be such a connection. Sometimes it is the “stumbling across” the blog of people from different countries.
Jack’s Nugget: The spiritual journey is constant, be open to it.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Chapter Seventeen: Discover Your Spiritual Self - Part Two
For the past twenty some-odd years I have ended my day with this mantra of thanksgiving. It has been modified slightly as I have learned new bits of information. I believe it is an example of my spiritual self.
Thank you guides for helping me survive and thrive this day
Thank you for helping me as I work to fulfill my missions efficiently, effectively and elegantly.
Thank you for helping me learn more about the “Divineness of Perfection”.
And a special thanks for the assistance you provide the people on my prayer list to assist them in the successful completion of their individual missions.
Back in the late ‘70’s I read Spirit Guides by Samuels and Bennett. The primary theme as I remember it now was that we all have spirit guides that are available to us.
Thank you guides for helping me survive this day.
These guides are there to do just that, guide us through our lives. We don’t even need to recognize them. However, I believe that they are able to work more effectively and efficiently with our acknowledgement. I also realize that all of my behaviors are my choice.
I recognize that being able to say this mantra I have survived another day. That is the most I expect of them. Even during the day I may recognize my guides. When things are going well I might give a quick thanks to the spirit guides for their assistance. When things aren’t going so well, I thank them for the challenge and ask for additional assistance. There have been times when I drove under less then perfect conditions. At those times I rely on my guides to help keep me safe. For me, it works. I may be speeding along when I come to the realization that I need to slow down. When I ignore the message I come to regret it. The only speeding ticket I ever got came when I chose to ignore the message from my guides.
Thanks for your help as I work to fulfill my missions efficiently, effectively and elegantly.
My belief is that I have missions to perform during this life. As long as I am still able to recite my mantra I am not done. I want to complete the mission work the very best that it can be done. I ask my guides to keep me on that path. I take it on faith that it will happen. Looking at where I am in my life I can only think that things are going well. I am so grateful for my place in this life this time.
Thank you for helping me learn more about the “Divineness of Perfection”.
Dr. Wayne Dyer spoke the phrase the “divineness of perfection”. Whatever happens, “good” or “bad”, is the results of our personal choices. Under general systems theory everything in the universe is connected at some level. That is the system that is divinely perfect. Everything that happens needs to happen that way because of the choices made by everyone. It may not seem like the best of all possible worlds, but it is what we endure every day.
And a special thanks for the assistance you provide the people on my prayer list to assist them in the successful completion of their individual missions.
This is one of the most important parts of the mantra for me. I have made a prayer list that is maintained by my spirit guides. Whenever I learn of people who are having a particularly rough patch, I say prayers for them and also add them to my prayer list for continued support. Depending on how difficult their situation is, I might add several stars next to their name. The stars denote the need for special attention. I never remove anyone’s name from the list. Even when they transition to their next life, their name remains on the list. There is an advantage for maintaining such a list. I don’t have to keep them individually in my mind for them to receive whatever assistance they might need.
The recitation of this simple mantra allows me to peacefully complete my day prior to my Reiki session that also sends universal energy to them all. The recipients have the option to use the Reiki energy in whatever way they choose. It is all done on the “energy” level that connects us all.
Jack’s Nugget: We are not alone. We have each other and our Spirit Guides.
Take me back to the Directions page:
Thank you guides for helping me survive and thrive this day
Thank you for helping me as I work to fulfill my missions efficiently, effectively and elegantly.
Thank you for helping me learn more about the “Divineness of Perfection”.
And a special thanks for the assistance you provide the people on my prayer list to assist them in the successful completion of their individual missions.
Back in the late ‘70’s I read Spirit Guides by Samuels and Bennett. The primary theme as I remember it now was that we all have spirit guides that are available to us.
Thank you guides for helping me survive this day.
These guides are there to do just that, guide us through our lives. We don’t even need to recognize them. However, I believe that they are able to work more effectively and efficiently with our acknowledgement. I also realize that all of my behaviors are my choice.
I recognize that being able to say this mantra I have survived another day. That is the most I expect of them. Even during the day I may recognize my guides. When things are going well I might give a quick thanks to the spirit guides for their assistance. When things aren’t going so well, I thank them for the challenge and ask for additional assistance. There have been times when I drove under less then perfect conditions. At those times I rely on my guides to help keep me safe. For me, it works. I may be speeding along when I come to the realization that I need to slow down. When I ignore the message I come to regret it. The only speeding ticket I ever got came when I chose to ignore the message from my guides.
Thanks for your help as I work to fulfill my missions efficiently, effectively and elegantly.
My belief is that I have missions to perform during this life. As long as I am still able to recite my mantra I am not done. I want to complete the mission work the very best that it can be done. I ask my guides to keep me on that path. I take it on faith that it will happen. Looking at where I am in my life I can only think that things are going well. I am so grateful for my place in this life this time.
Thank you for helping me learn more about the “Divineness of Perfection”.
Dr. Wayne Dyer spoke the phrase the “divineness of perfection”. Whatever happens, “good” or “bad”, is the results of our personal choices. Under general systems theory everything in the universe is connected at some level. That is the system that is divinely perfect. Everything that happens needs to happen that way because of the choices made by everyone. It may not seem like the best of all possible worlds, but it is what we endure every day.
And a special thanks for the assistance you provide the people on my prayer list to assist them in the successful completion of their individual missions.
This is one of the most important parts of the mantra for me. I have made a prayer list that is maintained by my spirit guides. Whenever I learn of people who are having a particularly rough patch, I say prayers for them and also add them to my prayer list for continued support. Depending on how difficult their situation is, I might add several stars next to their name. The stars denote the need for special attention. I never remove anyone’s name from the list. Even when they transition to their next life, their name remains on the list. There is an advantage for maintaining such a list. I don’t have to keep them individually in my mind for them to receive whatever assistance they might need.
The recitation of this simple mantra allows me to peacefully complete my day prior to my Reiki session that also sends universal energy to them all. The recipients have the option to use the Reiki energy in whatever way they choose. It is all done on the “energy” level that connects us all.
Jack’s Nugget: We are not alone. We have each other and our Spirit Guides.
Take me back to the Directions page:
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